You may be reading this because your marriage is under attack. Or perhaps you are here because you are under attack yourself. You may or may not have experienced the power of God in your life. You may know a lot of Bible verses, or you may be one who knows little about what God's Word says. But one thing is sure. You are miserable about something in your life, and you don't know how to fight it. You have been deceived in some very subtle and yet powerful ways to believe something that is 90% true, and the 10% error is enough poison to bring about what feels like death in your soul.
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If you feel that your marriage is under attack, know this. You both have different outer symptoms, but you both are fighting with the same adversary, and it is not your mate. You probably have been deceived into thinking that if only your spouse changed that things would get better. You may actually be thinking inside without realizing it that you are better then your mate. Surely he/she is the one with the problem. What you need to know is that you are no better than your mate. The tragedy is not that your friend has a problem, but rather it is that you don't know how to give that loved one what they need to overcome. Arguing just declares to your real adversary that you are held captive to do his bidding. Satan is using you to accuse your spouse! Much of what you are saying may be true, but it is demonic! You need to learn how to redemptively respond, and you don't know how to do that. If you don't learn, your relationship probably won't make it. One way or another, God has got to change you on the inside.
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You can't think your way out of your problem, your depression, your insecurity, your fears, or your anger, bitterness, hurt, or frustration. Let me say it again. You cannot think your way out of this. You certainly can't accuse your way out. You need to sit down and admit to each other, "We are under attack. We both have the same problem. We don't know how to love each other with the love of God. We don't know how to defeat Satan's attacks with the power of God's Word." Remember, when Jesus was facing the devil in the wilderness, even He used God's Word to defeat him. He said, "It is written,..."
You desperately need to learn how to use the powerful, spiritual weapons to defeat your common enemy. You've heard the words before, but you don't know how to apply it to your present dilemma.
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​ First of all, you need to learn how God graciously speaks into your life with words of encouraging mercy and vision. You need to find out the tremendous grace that He loves you with in deep patience when you have been living like a perfect jerk. He doesn't berate you. He doesn't nag you. But neither does He enable you. He speaks to you through His Word in ways that cause you to discover that He is serious, but He is powerful to change you by His love.
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Since you can't think your marriage or your personal problems away, you need to learn how you can overcome them. It is by thinking God thoughts. It is by daring to put your mind on absolute truth, and truth from God's Word that speaks right into your present situation. If only you would've called, emailed, texted, tweeted, or knocked on my door I could've showed you how to do this. But you sit here tonight reading this because of your pride, or your sorrow, or your emotional emptiness. Satan has brought you to the place where instead of asking for help, you've been put through the wringer until you have no strength to cry out.
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You either think you have sinned too deeply, or you have been too offended, or the cares of this world have taken such a hold on you that you've allowed the devil to single you out for slaughter. But you're reading this because God is at work right now to deliver you. His plan is to bring you to the place where you can plug the cord of your soul into the outlet of the Holy Spirit and let His power and presence begin to change you. Once you've done this, then you will be able to "wash your mate with the water of the Word" as the Bible says until they too begin to experience hope.
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Everyone is no more than 24 hours away from a defeat. That's why God told ancient Israel to gather enough manna in the wilderness for only one day at a time. Yesterday’s bread of heaven will be spoiled by the next day. We all need fresh bread for our souls. We all need God's Word everyday, His personal word to us that jumps off of the page and lifts our souls with great hope. If you have fears of any kind, despair, depression, anger, or frustration, read Psalms 34, 46, and 91. Start here and begin to use your Bible study helps, cross references, etc. for each verse. Learn to eat! Learn to feed your soul the words that will change your thought life. You may already know this, in theory. You may have heard this. But you are defeated because you're more than 24 hours from having done it.
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When you find verses that begin to speak to your soul to lift you with hope and grace, memorize them. Hide God's Word in your heart, or you absolutely will sin against Him, and you will also sin against your friends, those you love, your spouse, and your children. Without His Word, you will be a part of the problem instead of a part of the solution.
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You know that no one can change you by accusing you. Once you begin to find out God's power to feed your soul, then you will be in a place to help someone else. Your story will lift them. Your words will come from God and He will begin to give others hope from your words of encouragement from God. Your thoughts and words will never change anyone's life for the better! Ever. Settle it. You need to come in touch with living words from God to your own soul. Then you will be able to rescue those whom you love.
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David sinned deeply with adultery and murder of his mistresses' husband. He wrote the 51st Psalm about his prayer and encounter with God. God's mercy came to him. Then David said, "Others will be converted to You." That is how it will happen in your life too. Without it, nothing will happen in a positive way.
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"But I'm too busy. I don't have the opportunity." If you were drowning, you'd do anything you could to get a breath of fresh air. Well, you're drowning! "I don't have the time." You will when you've burned out, 7 spirits worse than the ones you used to have come upon you, when you've lost your family, your mind, or your support system. You have time to eat. You have time to do the things that are important to you. The problem is not a lack of time. The problem is that you haven't owned the solution. You will burn out emotionally, mentally, and physically until you learn how to rest in God. Most people must come to this place before they wake up and learn to believe God and think God thoughts. The disciples were sent out into a storm by Jesus to learn to trust Him. He has sent you out into this storm to learn to trust Him for yourself. You will need to learn to walk on the water yourself and not blame others for the storm. God allowed it to come upon you so that you would learn how to overcome it. The storms won't stop until you've learned it.....ever. Still don't have enough time?
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There have been times of such deep attack in my life where every single thing that I had, every hope for my future, every source of support for the present was taken from me. I mean, I lost everything I had. Those who loved me were accusing me. My ministry was taken from me. I was forced into bankruptcy, deserted by many who once called me pastor and friend. God told me, "Don't defend yourself. Keep your mouth shut." When I did, He took over. I was not acquitted by my innocence, but by His mercy, His Word, and a total surrender to Him. It felt like a nightmare, but it was His way of delivering me from myself. Once self was out of the way, Satan had no soil in which to plant his seeds of frustration, fear, anger, bitterness, deception, or hurt. God's deliverance is terrible to the natural man, but the alternative is eternal - eternal loss of all that I could've been and done.
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Everyone has to go through their "dark nights in the tomb" I call them. They are the nights Jesus spent after crucifixion. They are fearful nights of panic, despair, and suffering for the fleshly, carnal man. Some of those times we have to go through alone. No one is there, and it is by God's design. But most of this journey is done with the support of close friends who've walked this journey, or who are walking it too - with you. My wife was with me. A few close friends were also with me for some of the way. For you here, you are going to need to walk this journey with someone who has been there. It is real discipleship. It is discipleship that many, many people don't survive. Most of those following Jesus fled. Most whom I've walked along this path with the Lord have fallen away. Jesus said it would happen. He said, it is not you, it is Me they are rejecting. It will happen to you too. Not everyone is willing to make this journey and be treated like Jesus was treated.
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But I believe you have read this far because God has called you to walk this journey with me. Along the way you will learn how to mine out of heaven the words of grace and love that you can speak to others so that they might be set free. You will learn how to speak prophetically into their lives. Instead of judging what is wrong about them, you will judge what is right about Jesus, and you will give that to them. You have been failing in your most important relationships - your family and your church. You have fled, or you want to flee. But you need to know that though there may be a lot of room to accuse you of being, acting and thinking in an ungodly manner, with impatience, self-pity, sin and frustration, here is the truth. Like Peter, who denied Jesus, who cursed and said he did not know Him, at the very time He was being beaten, Peter was called by God.
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Jesus told Peter he would be sifted like Satan, just like you have been. But Jesus prayed that his faith wouldn't fail. I have prayed that your faith also doesn't fail. You may have failed in a lot of things, but your faith will win the day. You can get into God's Word and learn to have powerful encounters with the Holy Spirit, and you can learn how to overcome all things. You can and will do all things through Christ who strengthens you. But your problem has been that you have been living off of other people's faith, and now you're facing your own demons, and God has called you to walk on the water for yourself, and its scary turf.
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Your sifting is purifying the impurities out of your life. While others are accusing you of all kinds of things, and while, on the outside they may look like they're right, it's all demonic! The pressure you are under, and the impurities that are coming to the surface are the things that God is bringing into the light so they will be poured off. You are His treasure, by faith! Your flesh will fail. Your ability to think things out means nothing to the devil. God is giving you something of enduring substance and you will not be able to be stopped.
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So plug the socket of your soul into the outlet of heaven, and start learning to receive the power that God has for you. That is your right and your authority. You are His. He sees you for what He is going to make of you. It's time you started seeing yourself for the creation that He is making of you, and not for your failures. Sooner or later others will learn to judge you in the same creative way. Not everyone will. But I will. The angels will. There are others too who refuse to see you except by what God has declared for you. You are an awesome, eternal, powerful creature who needs to learn of your true identity. It is given by God alone. You can't think your way into this without "God thoughts." They will feed your soul. Go get them. Learn to feed yourself and blessings and mercy will surely follow you all of the days of your life. You will not be robbed, plundered and defeated. You will finally stop being chased by devils. Instead, you will be chasing them away from your mate, your children, your church, and your city. You will realize that you are among those of whom this world is not worthy!